to miles. on the day before you become a big.

My sweet angel,

     

Today is your last day as an only child. I am excited for you to begin this new journey as a big brother but I am sad to see this chapter of our lives together come to an end. The chapter where you have me and daddy all to yourself every night. The chapter where I can always hold both of your hands with both of mine. The chapter where sometimes it really feels like there's nothing and no one else but the three of us .

     

This morning before our friends arrived for the day you wanted to snuggle with me on the couch. You like to do that when you wake up. I love it. My shirt doesn't quite fit all the way over my tummy anymore and you found my belly button quickly. You love the way it pokes out right now. You rubbed my tummy and talked to me in your sweetest  voice. You have the best voice baby. You tried to push my belly button back in (like you always do these days) and smiled the most precious smile when once again you discovered it pops right back out every time. Priceless.

     Tomorrow you will begin an exciting weekend spent with some of your very favorite people. I know you will be having lots of fun with your friends and that their mommies and daddies will keep you safe while daddy and I are away. I can't wait for you to meet your baby brother. I know you're just going to love him so. And he will be crazy for you. He's the luckiest little brother in the world to have you as his big. I know the two of you will be friends forever. 

     Sweetest Miles, you will always be my baby boy. Even when you're grown and have babies of your own. I love you. You have brought more sunshine into my life than I ever imagined possible. You are a shining star and the world is better because you are here. Remember I love you always.

Mommy

photos via

baby bump progression.

Wow, 9 months has really flown by.

It's hard to remember my tummy being this flat ever.

And it's fun to watch it grow through pictures.

Enjoy!

12 weeks.  Man, I miss that belly.

 13 weeks via

 16 weeks

20 weeks

24 weeks

25 weeks

26 weeks

28 weeks

30 weeks

31 weeks

32 weeks

34 weeks

35 weeks

38 weeks

39 1/2 weeks! Holla!

At 7:30 tomorrow morning we are going to begin the process of bringing this baby boy out into the world! I am EXCITED and ANXIOUS and TERRIFIED and OVERJOYED and WORRIED. 

I think I might be feeling every emotion right now.

I wanted to thank all of you sweet readers for sharing this journey with me. 

Your support and loving words have really helped make the ride easier.

I promise to bring my camera cord to the hospital and have the hubbs upload some goodness for yall as soon as the lil guy arrives.

Good luck to us!!!

M

come out come out...

(Good news makes this gal giddy!!!)

Yesterday at my OB appointment my mid wife and I were discussing the baby's lack of movement over the past few days (and my misery at the thought of being pregnant for one more second) and we decided that the best thing to do at this point is HAVE this baby!

We are going in Friday morning at 7:30 to get this show on the road. THIS FRIDAY!!!

My baby will most likely be born on April Fools Day. :0)  I think that's kinda awesome. And I think he will too.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

So let's get pumped people! I told her I was planning on trying to have him without the epidural but if the pain became as mind altering as it was with Miles I was definitely going to  have one. She agreed it was a good idea. We both want me mentally present for the birth of the baby. :0)

Now here's the problemo... Drew and I are still on the fence about what to name this kid! So I made a baby name poll and I neeeeed you to vote!

Click here and put in your two cents if you would!

I am so so so ready to bring this little guy home and begin life as four.

Thanks in advance for your baby naming help!

M

one for the books.

Saturday night Drew and I and our dear friends Joe-Z and Lindsey went out to celebrate my Golden Birthday! I turn 28 on the 28th today! 28. Wow. Anyway, we dined and dished and it was fabulous just as I knew it would be. 

Afterwards Drew and I were headed to target to shop for my birthday gift... a bicycle woo hoo!!! What? Doesn't every full term baby mama want a bike? 

Anyway, while we were in the store Lindsey called and said we forgot to take a group shot of the four of us to commemorate my big day (she's a photog so she notices things like that) and that they were coming over to Target real quick so we could take a pic.

I told her what isle we were in and Drew and I wandered until we found them. 

She and Joe-Z were standing at the end of an aisle looking like they had just bumped into someone they knew when I spotted them. SIDE NOTE: I was wearing my new bike helmet and carrying a stuffed lamb we were considering buying for our new addition. I pretty much looked like a total goober.

Drew and I headed over toward them and just as we rounded the corner I see a big group of people all gathered there. And then they all started singing! Happy Birthday to me! And Lindsey whips out this HUGE  DELICIOUS looking cupcake. Candle and all. I was so touched. What was even better was when I realized that I didn't know a single one of the people singing (other than L + J)! Lindsey and Joe-Z had solicited like 20 random people to stop what they were doing and sing to me in the middle of Target. When I realized that I cried. 

That's what I do when someone does something really really nice for me. Something that says "I love you and here's how much." I love y'all too.

Thank you Lindsey and Joe-Z for making it a birthday to remember always.

Tonight, dinner with my main squeeze. And maybe some labor pains yes? Yeah, prolly not huh?

Only 6 days our til due date!!! And still no name in sight...

M

another list.

(via)

To Do this weekend:

Groceries

Birthday lunch with Daddio and Sheree

Birthday dinner with Lindsey and Joe-Z

Hit 100 followers just in time for my b-day (Cmon people, we're soooo close!)

Get my church on

Ummm prepare for our new addition...?

Have a baby

Sounds easy enough yes?

Hope you enjoy your weekend!

M

in our defense.

Today a friend confided in me that she had said some unkind things about me during an argument with her husband. Strange thing was, I didn't get mad. It really didn't bother me at all. I love her, she loves me. End of story. But it struck me in such an odd way I thought I'd like to have it recorded and possibly get some feedback on the subject so here we are.

See, she and her man were having it out (as all married couples do from time to time) and she said something along the lines of  "I don't want to be like Marquesas and not tell you what's bothering me and then resent you for the things you do and don't do!"

I was startled at first. Is this the perception she has of me and my marriage? Because Drew and I don't fight it means I don't stand up for myself? Does she see me as a giant doormat? Do other people too? I thought about it for maaaaybe half a second and decided I didn't care.

So unlike me. I am usually VERY much concerned with how my friends perceive me, my choices and my life. But in this case I don't know, it just rolled right off me.

Yes, it's true. I do get frustrated and feel alone at times. What wife/mother doesn't? But, I decided a long time ago that I wanted to live in a peaceful house. No yelling, no fighting, no intentionally hurting each others feelings. That doesn't mean there's not conflict. We simply choose to deal with it in our own way. If I am feeling overwhelmed, before I say something that might hurt someone I take a walk or a bath and broach the subject again later when I've had time to really put things into perspective.

Does it reeeally matter that my husband doesn't help much with the housework? Somedays it feels like a scream-it-from-the-rooftops- YES! But most of the time, no. It really doesn't. (Hubby, this is not a get outta housework free card, just sayin'!)  :0)

What does matter is that he is KIND. He LOVES me. He is good at the BIG PICTURE things in life. SO what if he doesn't seem to notice how sticky the floor is or that the toilet looks like some freak science experiment gone wrong. He notices when I've had a hard day and need a hug. He notices when Miles wants to play or needs snuggled on the couch. He NEVER and I mean NEVER criticizes me. NEVER raises his voice to me. NEVER lashes out and tries to intentionally hurt me. He is a GOOD man. And I am lucky. He's not perfect, I'm not perfect. But we love each other the best way we know how and it works for us.

The advice Drew gives people before they get married is:

 "If it's not worth getting divorced over it's not worth fighting over."

I guess you could say that that's our little marriage motto. It may seem general and overly optimistic but it works around here. Please don't think I'm claiming to have the perfect marriage here. No one has that. I just felt like sharing a bit after the conversation I had with my girl this morning.

Happy Thursday and book and appointment with Lindsey Lou Photography soon!

38 weeks. lord help us all.

Thoughts from Baby Mama: "I need a break."
Weight: 163.2 (2lbs shy of what I weighed when Miles was born.)
Cravings: Sweets. As usual.
Clothes that still fit: Ha!
Baby Prep Completed: We are hooked up with diapers and pretty much ready but there are still so many things I feel need to get done before he arrives...
Disgusting Killer Vein Update: I just ignore them now. It's pointless to care about something you can't do anything about.
Baby Daddy: Working 11 hour days to try to get some leave for when baby arrives + MBA program = BUSY and TIRED.
Stretch Marks: Still staying away but I seriously don't see how baby boy can get any bigger without my stomach bursting open.
Big Brother: Has decided that sleeping through the night and/or past 5am is lame.
Post Baby Plans: 4 weeks off work. (2 with my home daycare closed and 2 with an assistant working here for me.) Then back in the saddle.

Hang in there everyone! This wild ride is almost over and soon we'll have an adorable baby boy to show for it!

M

a smile in my inbox.

This morning I got an email from a sweetie pie and she included this oooold photo of Drew and I. 

It was taken not long after Drew returned from his mission and we were in freshly reunited bliss. Maybe not even engaged yet.

I love it. 

The way we are just lost in each others arms and some inside joke while the rest of the world is moving on around us makes my heart so happy. I have no idea what we were laughing at but I'm sure Drew had just said something funny in my ear. 

He is so so funny.

Seeing this today has been perfect. It reminded me of how simple our life really is. 

We just have to love each other. 

And keep laughing. 

Things are challenging, long work hours, late nights. 

But we chose this life together. 

 We chose one another to share it all with. 

We choose it everyday over and over.

And I still know I'm making the absolute right choice.

Smartest thing I've ever done.

Love you hunnie.

M

seriously.

(via)

Ran a mile tonight out of sheer desperation to end this pregnancy. It didn't work. Two weeks til my due date. Much to do, plan and decide but mostly I'm just ready to begin this new chapter.

Grab the bull by the horns I suppose.

Then again I want to snuggle Drew and Miles a little closer and hang on to life with just the three of us a little longer.

Change.

It's coming.

Maybe we're ready, maybe not.

But either way it's coming.

And I can't help but wonder...

What have I gotten myself into???

M

via

i've got rhythm.

This photo brings a smile to my face for lots of reasons...

*How very very very silly we look.

* My husband loves me enough to jump wildly into the air for a photo op. He doesn't even like having his picture taken but he accompanies me on shoot after shoot without complaint. Love you hunnie.

* I love how my hair flew up into a total 50's do while I was flying thru the air.

* One of my most favorite people ever took this photograph.

* It totally feels like we are about to burst into song any second.

Join the party and post a photo that makes you smile today.

Thanks for the invite Kristen!

my miles.

Sometimes when I go pee pee in the potty you cheer for me and proclaim that I should get candy. That's awesome.

You can ride your bike fast, slow, forwards, backwards, steer and stop when you want. You are VERY athletically gifted my son.

These days, sliding down slides is too boring for  you. You've decided climbing to the top and leaping to the bottom is much more exciting. I know it gets my heart pumping anyway. You little dare devil.

Lately, you want me to help you over anyone else. The sister missionaries were here last night and you wouldn't let them wipe your nose or even open a door for you without protest. Interesting.

You love to sing songs and you are very quick to learn them. Really you only have to hear a song once before you at least know a little piece of it.

You can put your own shoes on and you ALWAYS get them on the right feet!

Lately you request me to join you in the tub A LOT. I don't mind because I love you and it's pretty fun but we both barely fit now that baby brother has grown so big inside my tummy!

You tell me all the time that I have a "big ole belly."

You were measuring yourself  last night with a tape measure. When I asked how big you were you said "27." That's what you said when I asked how old  you were too. Funny cuz that's how old I am for another couple weeks or so.

You are so special to me little man. You make my life so sweet. I love you and wish I really could "keep you in the kitchen with me forever." Just like in your night night song.

Mama

me me me me me... and a little you too.

Green me.

I don't pretend to be perfect. 

Far from it really. 

I know I'm flawed and weak but still wonderful at the same time.

 I don't pretend to have all the answers. 

I can be both brilliant and idiotic and that's okay with me. 

I trust easily and forgive quickly as long as I know you love me. 

I'm not the world's greatest mother and I won't judge you for not being her either.

I get jealous and snarky and ask "Why her instead of me?"

And sometimes, "Why me instead of her?"

I lose my temper and find it again about a zillion times a day.

I want to feel close but at times I don't want anyone to touch me.

I really would "catch a grenade" for my husband.

And "step in front of a train" for my kids. (That songs in my head today.)

Sometimes it scares me how much I love my friends. 

I will cut you if you hurt someone I love. (Well, you'll at least make my list of people to cut someday.)

I don't like people that pretend to be perfect.

I've decided that's my biggest pet peeve. 

At least for now.

Because let's get real ladies.

I'm not perfect.

You are not perfect.

Let's just all be ourselves with reckless abandon.

That would be perfection if you ask me.

What about you?

M

images

your name is pounding through my veins.

(via)

I love that you think I'm funny even when I am being totally serious. 

I love that you watch crap TV with me. (Even if I do think we watch too much.)

I love that you listen to me when I need someone to care about my ridiculous problems.

I love that I know you will stick around through the hard times. Because you have so many times before.

I love the man you are and the man I can see you becoming. 

Sometimes it may not seem like it but I know our future is bright and there are more good things ahead than bad.

Starting with this new little baby boy.

It will be hard but we'll come through. 

Like always.

I love you.

M

(This made me think of you today.)

throw back.

(Drew and I circa 2007... He's totally mocking my awesome modeling skills.)

One year ago,  I did this little survey. I thought it'd be fun and interesting to do it again today and see how much has changed/stayed the same. It was. 


TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:

1. Hello, it's so nice to finally meet you.
2. Stop growing so fast.
3. So glad to see you go.
4. Let him win once in a while.
5. Why don't you blog more? I am nosy and want to know what's going on in your life.
6. I miss you.
7. I want your happiness more than mine.
8. Wake up and say something funny so I know you're okay.
9. Give my husband a great paying job that he loves.
10. I'll love you forever if you bring me an ICEE.


NINE things about yourself:
1. I want highlights. What the crap is it about summer that makes me want to be blonde!?! Seriously, every year!
2. I'm pretty darn pregnant. Someone at church this week said to me "You look miserable." Thanks for noticing. I still love you madly sister.
3. I cleaned up baby barf at 3am last night.
4. I really wish parents would keep their kids home when they are sick.
5. I want to go shopping but it's so far beyond pointless at this point.
6. I am about to register for a Humanities class. Joy.
7. I love when Drew and I work as a team.
8. I want to eat some delicious Pasta Evangeline from Harry's.
9. I feel the need to do something athletic. Basketball, softball, tennis, running, Zumba... Anything will do at this point (just gotta make sure not to pop a vein during) :0)


EIGHT ways to win your heart:
1. Bring me an ICEE.
2. Understand exactly where I'm at in life because you're right there too.
3. Take my picture and tell me I'm beautiful.
4. Call me mommy.
5. Stop by randomly to bring me music because it reminds you of me.
6. Share the work.
7. Respond to a need without me asking. Just because you're awesome.
8. Kick me in the ribs. (Only from the inside)


SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1. What were we thinking?
2. I can. I will. I must.
3. Only 2 comments?
4. Why can't I be more like her?
5. Is that a stretch mark?
6. What's that little booger doing?
7. How will we ever survive this?


SIX things you do before you go to bed:
1. Put a tiny angel to bed with books, songs, an egg shaped night light and kisses.
2. Take a warm bath, wash my hair.
3. Put on "Big Mama." My maternity undie top. She's a giant beast but I loooove her.
4. Take a prenatal vitamin
5. Move egg shaped night light from angels bedside to his shelf.
6. Pillow talk with hubby.


FIVE weaknesses.
1. For the past nine months or so... MOOD SWINGS. Poor poor Drew.
2. Lack of follow through.
3. Negative thinking.
4. Indulging in cravings a little too often.
5. Looking back to the past and ahead to the future instead of being present here and now.


FOUR things you’re wearing right now.
1. That same brown tee shirt with the yellow numbers on it. Hahahaha sad.
2. My grey stretchy pants.
3. Bra that is so uncomfy.
4. Undies.


THREE songs that fit your life perfectly.
1. Love Hurts by Incubus
2. Dig by Incubus
3. My Heart by Paramore
(Dang, now I gotta go listen to those bad boys.)


TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. See more of the world with Drew.
2. See my sons grow up happy and strong.


ONE confession:
Some days it seems my life couldn't get much worse. Some days it seems it couldn't ever be any better.


Won't you take my survey today? Just copy and paste!


M

mail call...

Dear Barbie,
     Do you feel like a blimp like me? Does it hurt to sit down/stand up/move because of the bulging veins bursting outta the backs of your thighs/lady parts/hiney? I hope not. I also hope we have these babies soon.

Dear Body,
     Are you ruined forever? I thought the old wives tales said that baby girls "steal your beauty." I'm pretty sure you're carrying a boy. Didn't you get the memo?

Dear Miles,
     You are ridiculously adorable. You make getting up in the mornings worth it. I love your imagination, your sense of humor and your obsession with my "big ole belly." You are so precious.

Dear Drew,
     Someday soon we'll play guitar together again. When we're not both working 11 hr days. And you don't have homework coming out of your butt. I reeeeeally hope all this hard work pays off in a big way.

Dear Lindsey,
     Thank you for coming over and picking up after me and my family's slovenly ways. And, thank you for thinking of me and my incessant ICEE cravings pretty much daily. I love you. Also, how did you not know where to go to find an ICEE? (You haven't lived my friend!)

Dear Jasmine,
     I'm getting pretty excited for the fabulous party you've been plotting. You are good to me.

Dear You,
     One year sober. That is amazing. I couldn't be happier or more proud to call you mine. I know it hasn't been an easy road but you are winning and that makes me happy.

Dear Baby Brother,
     What is your name little buddy? Would you mind terribly if we just named you Baby Brother Blimes? Miles already has that one down. Anyway, if you could clue us in anytime soon that'd be super. Love you little boy.

Dear Mid-Wife,
     Don't think I didn't notice how you practically shoved me out of your office the other day. I mean, I know it was the end of the day and all but I am a PAYING customer. I think I deserve a little better. Just sayin.

Dear Tracy,
     I love you. I want to talk to you soon so I can know for myself that you're okay and not afraid. I'll keep praying for you and hoping for your swift recovery.

Dear Shelley,
     I just heard your little cutie pie cry from my bedroom. That means she's awake and it's time to post this and snag her. You are a lucky mama to have such a perfect little princess! (Even if she did pooh all over my house yesterday) ;0)

Love,
M

things I'm looking forward to...

(Me after losing the baby weight from Miles... My what a journey I have ahead of me...)

Holding a tiny new life that drew and I made together.
Breastfeeding. Pretty much the greatest thing ever.
Sleeping on my stomach again. I miss this SOOOOO much.
Wearing my favorite dresses.
Seeing Miles as a big brother.
Working out like a beast.
Reaping the rewards of my hard hard hard work.
My legs (and other parts) no longer looking like road maps. Or at least looking less like road maps.
Being able to move around without grunting like a wart hog.

What are you looking forward to this Wednesday?

M

abc. easy as 123.

(36 weeks me. My awesome diaper cake from the wonderful shower this weekend! Pics soon!)

First off, thank you for being so sweet to me in my whine fest yesterday. Your comments really made me feel understood and loved. I love you!

So, I snagged this little game from over at Windy Poplars, it seemed like a fun Tuesday treat.


Age: 27 (20 days away from turning 28...whoa.)
Bed size: Queen but longing for a big fat, pillow topped KING.
Chore you hate: Putting away the dishes and laundry.
Dogs: One Pomeranian named Mable.
Essential start to your day: Peeing. Even though I get up to do it 3 or more times a night when I wake up it's the first thing I do.
Favorite color: Teal lately. Really any kind of blue makes me happy.
Gold or Silver: Ummmm silver unless it's vintage, then gold gold gold.
Height: 5'6
Instruments you play: Guitar (barely) I played drums for 6 years but sadly I am so rusty I could give you tetanus.
Job title: Wife/Mama/Home day care owner and operator
Kids in your immediate family: Almost 2.
Live: Tallahassee FL
Man in your life: My main squeeze Andrew Christopher Blimes.
Nicknames: Bagel, Mae, Quesas
Outrageous thing you'd do for $1,000: Enter an eating contest of some sort?
Pet Peeve: Failed nap times
Quote from a movie: "I just wanna go somewhere and breastfeed!" - The Other Guys
Righty or Lefty: Righty.
Sing in the shower: I take baths. Every night. Can't go to sleep without one. And I don't usually sing. Do the grunting sounds I make trying to get in and out of the tub these days count?
Time you wake up: between 6:45-7:00 (On really lucky days 7:20)
Underwear: Uh. Most people that read this know far too much about my undies. Hee hee
Vegetables you dislike: Broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus...
What makes you run late: Managing more people than just me.
X-rays you've had: Once I had an x-ray on my abdomen cuz I thought I was dying. Turns out I just ripped my stomach muscles apart doing back flips out of a tree into a sink hole. (Please God don't let Miles be as dumb/wild as me!)
Yummy food you make: Chocolate-Peanut Butter Bars...mmmmmm
Zoo animal favorite: Otters.

Now you know my ABC's, it's your turn to play along with me!

M

he's still in there!

(via)

Apparently I caused some major confusion with my last post. Sorry about that! But, I am still pregnant here, only 36 weeks along so we still have lotsa time. Unfortunately.

This pregnancy has definitely been much more challenging than my first. Physically, emotionally, financially. Pretty much every way around it. Drew and I both slug around like zombies that haven't feasted on brains in weeks. It's pretty sad. Yesterday we pretty much laid on the couch all day while Miles played around us. Thank goodness, for a sweet friend who dropped by last night and cleaned up my living room for me. One less thing I had to do to be ready to "open" this morning.  Love her.

But seriously, I wouldn't mind having him a couple weeks early. I mean, I am full term in a week. I've got spots ready for all my daycare kiddos. All my baby emails are saying "Your baby could come anytime now!" Let's just do this thing!

But then I fear the infant stage very very much... it will be good to have my body functioning normally again (after 6 weeks) but how am I really gonna handle two kids plus a 50 hr work week plus keeping the house up? Quitting work is not an option and I don't really like living in filth so... I guess we'll just have to see what happens. Probably a lot of me being very very tired all the time. But I suppose that's the life of a mother of two? Yes? No? Moms of multiple kids out there, any suggestions??? Seriously, this is NOT a rhetorical question, I need HELP!

Am I whining again? Maybe. I never expected to be a big ole whiny prego. Those types always kinda aggravate me. Maybe I aggravate myself a little these days though. Rambling thoughts, see how they go on and on and on... Oh my mind.

                                ********************************************************

In good news a group of friends threw me the most adorable shower this weekend! It was Bow Tie themed and I can not wait to share pics with you! The hostesses and guests really helped me focus on the positives of being pregnant... THE BABY!!! Oh, he is going to be so yummy I just know it.

I have a Dr. visit in about an hour so tomorrow I'll update you with all the gory details. I go every week from now til delivery so that's exciting! And hopefully this blog takes a turn for the more interesting soon. I'm afraid I've bored you dear readers to death with all the ramblings of a spinning pregnant mind. Thanks for sticking with me. :0)

M