No one warned me just how extensive this mom gig really is. Like, people could DIE if I fall down on the job.
Today alone I rescued a 5 year old from strangulation by elastic head band, stopped a toddler from drinking windex, AND taught my 2nd grader all about decapitation and how to avoid it.
I mean, not to be too cocky but I'm basically a frickin hero.
Right now it's 9:44pm and I'm stuck in the kids bed between the biggest and the middlest while the babyest is in the family room on a YouTube bender. WHY do kids love watching homemade movies of other kids playing with toys!!??
Bedtime is my least favorite, and most favorite, time as a mama.
All day I look so forward to it (once they're down I'll finally get a moment of peace/get to chat with hubbs/sneak into the candy stash...) and then, every night it takes at LEAST an hour. The teeth brushing, books, snacks and potty breaks... yelling, begging, bartering and crying... Finally threatening to take away their kindles and/or cause them bodily harm via wooden spoon... By the time it's over I'm ready to give up on life.
I wonder a lot if I'm the only mom who finds the everyday basics of momming to be extraordinarily difficult.
But at the same time, it's only at bedtime that these wild, ferocious beasts turn into leechy little snuggle suckers and attach themselves to me at any body part available. And boy will they TALK to me at bedtime. They spill allllll the beans. If you want to know about my boys' lives, just hang around past 9pm. That's when all the juicy confessions start to flow. I know who likes who, who's a stupid jerk hole, and who's really scared of freaking Freddy Fazzbeery. (Geez! Whoever created that bear has a REALLY hard punch in the tit coming their way.)
Then, slowly but surely the chatter begins to fade and their tiny bodies start to heat up. Man they are some sweaty pigs when they sleep! But man I soak it UP. Those moments when they're freshly asleep, barely drifting into dreams. When they smile, laugh and talk a little in their sleep. It's the best.
Bedtime is my most favorite time as a mama.
The only thing that comes close to topping the kids bedtime is that wonderful moment when it's finally MY bedtime. A quick bath, hubby's old tee shirt, beat the cracker crumbs and popcorn kernels out of my side of the bed with a pillow, hit play on The Office, and it is ON.
Mmmmmm. I can hear that sexy pillow calling my name right now.