Today I am happy that you are here.
Happy that you are tucked away safely just a room away.
I spent today holding you close, soaking up your perfect chubby cheekiness,
thanking God you're alive,
For every breath you take.

Today marks a year since I found you lying still in your bassinet, not breathing, blue.
I was too afraid to scream. No sound would come out.
I grabbed you and pulled you close to me.
You immediately started breathing again.
Thank God you started breathing again.

We still don't know exactly why you stopped breathing or what may have happened had I not woken up to check on you at that very moment. I don't really want to know.

I just want to be grateful.
I love that I get to see you smile and laugh and grow more and more perfect everyday.
I am so thankful to be able to hold you and blow raspberries into your neck anytime I please.
I am so so sorry for the mothers who weren't so lucky. Whose babies never woke up.
Lord be with them please.

Thank you so much for my sweet baby boy. He is more than I deserve. Please help me be the mother he needs.



Domesticated-Bliss said...

I have seriously got chills right now. Oliver must be meant for great things, he was definitely born to the most amazing parents that will make sure he's cared for and brought up with love and compassion :)

Megan Joy said...

Absolutley Terrifying and extremly well written. So happy everything turned out alright- he is adorable! a wonderful reminder that every day is a blessing with our little ones. #3 is due end of june, she is still yet to be named but we are happily anticipating her arrival. hope you and drew are doing well, parenting seems to suit you both so well (no surprise there!)look forward to hearing about when you decide to tackle on a #3 ;)

take care :)

The Miller Family said...

I love him, and I love you!

I remember that day and the days to follow. I remember getting to the hospital and you being so...relaxed or at peace...or maybe just too scared out of your mind to be anything else but calm. But, to me, I saw you as a great example of a wonderful mommy who's love and concern for her baby's well-being transcended any all, and took you to a place where you could step back from your fears, and give 100% of yourself to your little boy. You were amazing then, and are amazing now.

Anonymous said...

*hugs* I can't imagine what that must have put you through! I'm so glad that he was able to start breathing again. It's odd that they never figured out what was wrong, but I'm glad that he is safe. Love you!