Remember that time we were in the Bahamas and that creepy voodoo man tried to be our tour guide even though I kept telling him we didn't want one?
Remember how no matter how fast I walked he still kept stepping in front of me and forcing his lame, repetitive facts about the Queens Staircase on us?
Remember how then he wanted us to give him money for a service we refused and did everything in our power to avoid?
Remember how we didn't give him anything?
Then remember how he put the voodoo curse on me and I was wasted and my tummy hurt for the rest of the day?
He was scary.
Remember how you carried me up that monster hill cuz I never woulda made it on my own?
That's why I love you.
Remember that ok?
Don't mess with the voodoo man people. Just smile, nod give him the money.